The Church Search II

So I’ve redefined a lot in my head when it comes to church. I talked about this before leaving my church things like when you find your family, you’ll find your purpose small groups, make a large church small. There’s just things I don’t believe anymore.

One of the things that I think I’ve mentally redefined is spiritual family. So you take a child like me, that was abandoned at birth, orphaned adoptive parents then divorced which is pretty much abandonment and reduction again, and then you’re told that the church is going to be that place where you’re going to find your purpose. You’re going to find another family. You’re going to find the parents you never had, you know, whatever, right? You’re going to find a family that she didn’t have.

Try going to church for 15 years and then leaving I think all of two people have reached out to me one just because he was freaked out. And you know, they’re just because, you know, we keep tabs on each other, I suppose. But 15 years serving every Wednesday for at least seven or eight or nine or 10 of those years, and nothing.

So I think spiritual family is actually well intentioned but not necessarily well executed. When I look for a church now I don’t even look for spiritual family, because I know that has no value anymore. I know that you can go somewhere 15 years you can serve every week. But the moment you leave, you are nobody to those people. If you don’t serve a purpose in that church, if you’re not using your gift to help that church, it doesn’t matter that you walk the same planet you live the same city and you shop at the same places. And you drive the same roads. For some reason, it just doesn’t matter anymore.

And I’ve tried to reach out to a lot of people and people just ignore me. And that is a shame. That’s just one of the things that I don’t believe is true anymore. I think spiritual family is the world’s biggest lie, or at least the church’s biggest lie, His spiritual family. As long as you’re useful I think there’s a calculus of how valuable you are, whether it’s your time or whether it’s your service.

Nobody asked for an exit interview from me. Nobody wanted anything to do with me anymore. Nobody had any real questions. I offered to meet with anybody. Nobody took me up on it. And it wasn’t just to air grievances. You know, I just wanted the chance to say goodbye to people or to see if there was a chance to extend the relationship outside the church.

One of the things I don’t understand is why people think churches are boundaries for relationships. You can’t be friends with me now that I don’t go to your church. I think you have family-like relationships, some are in the church and some may not be.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai