Christmas

So Christmas is either 1980 or 1981. As a story was related to me my parents had gotten an Atari back then it was the Atari not the Atari 2600. And a lot of games and as they were getting ready for Christmas morning, they put all the games in the little holder that the Ataris came in at that time, you know, with the kind of translucent top and the game is running to the the right hand side and then the joysticks went in, like above the unit. And as I was told, my mother and father stayed up all night and and played video games and then my sister and I came down Christmas morning were able to play games. So that was one of the more amazing Christmases.

Another Christmas that I had was Star Wars and I got to see Threepio Star Wars case and all the figures. Were in it already. My mom had taken them out or dad or somebody and put them all in there so that was that was a that was a great Christmas another one I had what do you want to call it? For lack of better words it was a tent was kind of like a rounded tent and I had all my toys in it. So that was that was great.

So Christmas wasn’t doesn’t always as dark as it is now. I remember you know somewhere as as an adult seeing a TV show where you know the kids were with their girlfriends on Christmas. And it was a big family moment. I just remember looking being like I’d love to have a Christmas like that. But Christmas has never been like that Christmas has always been a dark time for me. Um, I had always been away from home. And right now with nobody left. Christmas morning is just Christmas morning. My daughter wants cash after Venmo or something and that’s great. I almost never see her. But yeah, I just wake up and it’s another day. The guy can go find pizza.

I think for me, the biggest thing has always been Christmas Eve although this year since I don’t have a church I don’t even know. Christmas Eve service was always something I look forward to even more than Christmas. But without a church. I don’t know how that’s gonna work out.

I did like going to Los Angeles so for a period of time I went to Los Angeles for Christmas for three weeks between Christmas and New Years and I’ve worked with the homeless in the mornings and on the weekends and you know fit some work in there here and there. Just the you will still make a living. I always felt that if I was going to be alone, I might as well be with others that were alone during Christmas and Los Angeles being like the capital of homeless people. The central focal point of homeless people I could learn things. So I go to Ocean Park media center every morning prep breakfast and then do what they called triage where you guys you set their desk, he said name, address, where are you from? What ethnicity are you? Are you veteran? Are you Hispanic? I felt really good about doing that. That was really good.

I actually went to move at one point and just be able to do that all the time, but life changes. And now it’s just I don’t even know what to think of Christmas at this point. Yep