Memories V: The Journey

When I moved out of my parents house around age 18 I remember I had thrown a shovel at my stepdad because he wanted me to shovel the driveway. And I worked a full time job I didn’t think I needed to. He was perfectly fully abled. And I had worked I worked a full time job and a part time job. I didn’t have the energy to shovel the driveway.

I ended up at I don’t know ignore Second Street. It was an efficiency apartment with a huge kitchen, living room that was also the bedroom and a very small bathroom. I had to use aluminum foil for curtains because it didn’t have real curtains or curtain rods. That was just what was going to have to do at that point. But yeah, my TV and my sofa bed. So for the pulled out to a bed.

The kitchen was a lot larger than what I needed because I didn’t cook. When I went out the door from the kitchen. There was a balcony and a stairway that led down to a parking lot where you could park your car. Otherwise it was street parking. But the problem was they run into spaces out during the daytime so you had to have your car gone. So on sick days, I had to move my car around. So there wasn’t daytime parking.

I was on the corner of second and Forster Street. I’ve worked at sheets in Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance agency. Both of them were walking distance which meant I could get to work at any time when others couldn’t make it in.

Gary talked a little bit and sheets I worked at two different stores regularly and I filled in other stores I took any responsibility I could get. And then at Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance agency. I tried to move up the ladder but didn’t get very far but I always took any overtime that I could get.

I worked regular student borrower accounts I was a skip tracer, which meant I had to try and find people using computers. We didn’t have the internet in those days or social media. So I had to pull credit reports and things like that make phone calls. I had to call the borrower references and then I got assigned to look for CO signers for student loans.

I was a filed applications and the application were like paper carbon copies. So any any chance I had to move up the ladder I definitely did that.

I didn’t continue my education beyond college. I just had an associate’s degree and a bachelor’s degree. However I did go to a place called the Career Center in between college runs they had an all you could eat plan for $3,000 back in 2002.

And the company I work for TIAA CREF paid for as long as I took office courses like Word Excel access, Adobe Photoshop I think they want me to take InDesign and then I could do anything else I wanted computer animation, a plus network plus all of that on my own time. But the company paid for it. So that was really good.

And I learned a lot that I even use this day both computer repair don’t use the 3d animation was interesting to understand modeling and rigging and all of that stuff. Photoshop still use those skills all the time.

My career goals I don’t think I had goals. My goal was to make more money. My goal was to find jobs where I could work, work, work. And make more money and that’s what I did. Not especially with people but very with working with things.

When I’m at parties, I don’t have a funny anecdote. Most people ask where I came from or they’ve heard a little bit of where it come from. So I’ll always tell them the story.

And it runs something like this in April of 1974 I’m sorry in April 1975 The United States was in a bloody conflict in Vietnam. Conflict was drawing to a close with the Viet Cong overriding Saigon. Many babies and children were evacuated and an airlift called Operation baby left some babies didn’t make it some claims were shot down. But miraculously, I survived.

I was one of the sickest babies in the group. So I was diverted to another hospital. And then later I was adopted by white folk and therein lies the tale people always find that fascinating. So that always comes up in parties.

First time I went on a real date definitely had to be the girl that lived catty corner from me named Jennifer. I honestly don’t remember I don’t remember since since I don’t remember anything. I just remember being totally astounded that we were dating. That’s all I have to say there was in my 20s.

There wasn’t a work life balance. It was all work, work, work, work, work. I worked like a workhorse. I did hang out with friends at night. Definitely probably accounted for coming in half awake during the mornings. But I just enjoyed hanging out and driving with my friends and going to where my friends live. That kind of thing.

As an adult, I’d say my best friend was Mark livering house in my early 20s He came into my life I think when I answered an ad on the internet for Star Trek toys. His friendship was different than others and he was willing to share what he had and helped me as I needed it.

As a young adult. I didn’t have many resources, and he did. So that’s important.

My social circle was mostly people from work. I don’t know that there was that much of a tribe, but it was just people from work. The woman that I babysat for, I think that was it and a lot of it had to do with drinking in my 20s that’s the deal I was drinking so 10 people when I call when something major good or bad happens in my life, and why they’re my go to guys.

Well, technically they’re cyan, and that’s pretty much it. Pastor Ron Lewis, maybe in the current time.

Yeah, there’s five people in the world that I trust, but in the real world as it operates today is primarily Pastor Ron Lewis and Diane.

This is the adulthood Chapter The question brings it up in the present tense name 10 People you call first when something major happens in my life.

Since my family’s gone is pretty much Diane and Pastor rod so became aware of the wider world and current events issues that were important to me were immigration, the economy I think those are two big things right now.

Back then, I was a conservative, so it was definitely about building the wall stopping illegal immigration. Cutting off people from welfare and making them work. All kinds of things, all kinds of views like that, that I think were important to me at the time.

Again, being a political conservative, that’s where my views fell.

As an adult, the first time I had adult conversation with my parents was probably with my mother. Before she died, I thanked her for adopting me. I told her that adoption is a mom and adoption was a choice.

And it’s a heavy choice and it’s one where you take responsibility for someone for the rest of their lives. So I thank you for making the choice of adopting me.

I think, having me having adopted my daughter, I understand that now. Because I think a lot of my parenting conversations with my mother, up to that point were just apologizing for because every time my daughter did something I could see when I did it, so I went back and apologized.

But actually as adults, it was probably right before my mother died. I thanked her for adopting me because I understood what adoption was and the commitment that you’re making.

So I went from a renter to a homeowner when I was pushed out my place to live and I’m sure there’ll be other points where I tell that story.

But my first property is property I’m in now it’s an acre in rural Robertson County. I live in a mobile home a trailer with the values in the land, paid 32,036 or 38,000 renovation total I borrowed was one away and I paid it back in four years.

If you count renovation money as 119 if you count the money I’ve poured into it so far, it’s probably about 130 If not 140 by now.

But yeah, I live I live in my trailer with my cats. And that’s important.

I wanted a home rural where I didn’t have an HOA or I didn’t have the city to deal with. Or I could just live in total freedom the way I wanted to live as long as I prayed and pay my property taxes.

I wanted it all paid off. So even the bank couldn’t take it away from me.

So the romantic relationship that was most significant to me was definitely Jennifer the girl of catty corner that I’ve talked about.

I never lived with another adult other than when I adopted my kid. I’m definitely a lone wolf because I’m set in my ways. And I want to create a safe environment for my cats.

And when you bring other people into the equation cats disappear. So I want to be in this living situation by myself. So I have total control over the security of my home and for my cats.

Qualities I found attractive and others in my 20s were people that were successful, driven, outgoing and focused. And I think that was important to me back then.

The biggest change I made by choice in my adult life was moving to New York City. I knew that I couldn’t stay in Pennsylvania any longer.

I had done several trips to New York City with my internet marketing platform. And I just decided that those trips there were three to four hours each way. They needed to stop and I needed to make the move. And I did.

So I met with a group of people every almost every night, planning the move, we were all going to move together and then by moving day, it was just me.

But I would have moved anyway which I look back on that and I’m like that is insane. That is totally insane. But I went and I did it.

Something I bought completely impractical that was an extravagant gift for myself was probably a couple years ago. It was actually last year.

I bought a three quarter scale pack mania arcade machine is the 3d Pac Man. I bought a brand new best buy for 499 Because I thought since it was Best Buy exclusive, it’d be limited and they were run out. Lo and behold they’re not marked down to 299 with the riser go figure right?

But always want to pack mania machine. I realized in a mobile home I don’t have the stability to start bringing in full size arcade machines nor do I have the room.

So the three quarter size things are great.

Traditions from my childhood that I’ve brought into my adult life. Well I have a Christmas tree I inherited the timeshare So conceivably I can go up every three years and I have 13 castes we have 13 Cats growing up.

So definitely cats are tradition.

I went from my first apartment to New York City without cats and then in New York I got three total and then I came down to Tennessee I probably had three for longest time until my daughter started trapping cats.

And that’s when the number went astronomically up.

I describe a time when you felt a certain way about someone and the feeling was a mutual boy I beat that one to death with Melanie but this is adult young adult years and honestly, I’m pretty sure I gave up.

There are a couple of people in the music industry that I liked and I think I fell flat on my face. There was some time in New York where there were people that liked and my church fell flat on my face.

Eventually you just give up I think you just you don’t look anymore.

Even values that change since you were a child I think I have a greater value for life as a whole.

Or as a kid I capture insects and put a pin through them and put them on a piece of foam for an insect collection. Now I’m more likely to grab the spider, put it in a jar and send it outside just kaput, like in a paper cup or something as opposed to just stopping on it.

I think my value for life of all different kinds has changed radically.

It could even be detrimental to some degree. But that’s it.

As an adult, my favorite local hangout was the mall although those don’t exist anymore. It’s a carryover from my teenage years.

But finding a mall was huge. And it still is, you know I don’t see very many big malls except in tourist areas, say like Nashville or New York or Los Angeles, you know, the Westfield Mall, that kind of thing.

But I like the sound of the mall. I like hearing them all music and seeing the floors the tile floors and smelling the food court stuff. I like being able to touch things.

Things you can buy.

One wow.

Okay.

This is gonna be a doubleheader here.

So for the married stuff that gives you alternatives if you’re single, but I think I can I can nail both of these here.

How did your first child change your life? What adjustments did you make in your work day in your social life?

That’s a big one.

So I adopted my kid.

And boy, did I make changes financially.

I think the time that I had my kid in my home, it was about an $80,000 episode.

Because I only had the kid only had the clothes on her back really she had like a roller bag or two.

And that was it.

I had to come home make sure that my kid was fed and make sure that my kid had resources.

My kid didn’t have a car and I didn’t know the ability to get her a car.

So I had to shuttle her everywhere whether it was a job or just to hang out at the mall, or probably dates and I was didn’t know it.

I had to work different hours.

I couldn’t be the workaholic as much as I wanted to that change.

I had to turn down work and put my kid first.

I had no social life.

I tried to take her along everywhere.

And that was important because I wanted to her to have a family where my family knew her family and what my life to be her life so that she would have a family life.

I don’t know if I ever got that completely right.

My parents aren’t in my life anymore.

Which is tragic.

My mother passed away from a combination of leukemia slash breast cancer.

And that was difficult.

I think I was re orphaned essentially being orphaned in 1975 by my birth mother and then divorce was another reoffending and then when my mother passed away, that was the final reoffending.

So I tend to think it was about three.

And my life I basically it returned to factory settings.

There’s no other way to put it.

I came in by myself and I leave by myself.

I have my daughter but that’s hidden which ship.

So my daughter’s name is Sephora.

I don’t know what her personality was like when she was young.

Because I adopted her right in my home and eight teen and adopter.

I’m 22.

So I really don’t know.

I missed that segment.

I don’t plan to have any more children.

I always thought the vision was to.

But I think I know where the other one is.

And she’s not my child.

She has a dad.

But she is very special and important to me.

So yeah, that that’s a no more.

One is good one.

Is a good number one’s a very good number.

So when I first got her I wanted to show her the world because he hadn’t seen much so we must have gone to like 13 states the first few months.

I took her on a road trip and we went to North Carolina, Pennsylvania, New York City passed through West Virginia obviously and probably Maryland.

Took her under another road trip where she did actually get to go to Maryland.

I don’t think ever took her to Ohio.

We’ve been to Atlanta, Georgia, then to Memphis, Tennessee and Arkansas.

So I tried to take her a whole bunch of different places.

So yeah, that was what we did.

And we try.

We had Christmas in July once when I returned her I actually ended up returning her to her actual biological family at one point thinking that that was the best move.

That’s what she wanted.

I only ended up getting her back after you know about a month.

So in that time, we had Christmas in July and we just really tried to compress 18 years and a few months.

Generally speaking, Chris minus weather trauma, like pikes, freezing.

Christmas is my favorite time of year.

I liked the smell of Christmas cookies.

I was thinking about that today the smell and taste and the process of making Christmas cookies and pulling them out of the oven.

And the taste of them.

The sweet taste of them is huge.

Package cookies.

Just don’t do it.

I tried that

Transcribed by https://otter.ai