Finding Peace

So today was the first real day of Christmas leave. And I laid in bed all day.

I have a Christmas party go to a night I was dreaming off and on. And one of the dreams I was at home in a big home in Dillsburg that my parents built. I was in the kitchen with the red linoleum floors. Only it was today and I’ve been there today. Two years ago, I was allowed inside. So I know what it’s like. I’ve stepped foot as an adult.

And in my dream, I was out trapping my cat, my childhood cat. I mean I was trying to trap my childhood cat and bring it inside because I brought it inside and just sat inside.

And it was the same feeling as when I was in the lake house timeshare earlier this year, just I was an adult. I was alone. There’s all this space but I felt peace.

That was in my childhood home by myself alone. And it was a big home too. It was 1234 bedrooms on the top floor. Dining room, family room, kitchen, Reading Room. Basement. It was huge.

But I had peace.

It was astounding. But I had peace just with my childhood cat and just by sitting and being there just like in the lake house timeshare.

When I first walked in.