Memories III: What I Would Say

So a time when I was looking forward to something for a long time I would definitely say the Nintendo Entertainment System as a kid. And I’ve wondered once or badly and my parents, I don’t know that they wanted to get me one but I got one for my birthday and boy that did as our K like graphics. It lived up to my expectations.

I was not interested in any kind of sports doing them. I did taekwondo for a little bit as a kid with my father tried to continue it after the divorce, just me. That didn’t end well. So that would have been, that would have been a pastime. But I didn’t participate in sports.

In fact, in PE class the only thing that I liked was weight training. Because you could be on your own you could do it on your own. You didn’t have to do team stuff with it. It was just you and the weights and you could go from station to station on your own. I did okay on volleyball because that was reflexes. I liked lacrosse as well because nobody was good at it. So I could be not good at it with other people. And I think that was a big thing right there. I could be on equal footing if I was doing something that no one else was good. At.

I was constantly angry with my mom. I think that there is even some residual in death with that. My mother would get very impatient, very upset. She got upset with my father. My father would fold fast, but my mother had a temper she also had high blood pressure. So that didn’t work.

But I remembered really all my life. There was always some anger towards my adoptive mother, just in terms of the overprotectiveness. Obviously parents embarrass you but it just went a step further with her I think growing up I think especially during the divorce, just she was the parent that was there so that she was the parent to get angry with and then just the inequality between me and my sister.

The decisions she made were totally opposite are the ones where my sister My sister got a house my sister got a car sister got education paid for was I had to get jobs student loan, and I had to make car payments. I think that was that was the biggest challenge with me. And there was a lot anger. I think with my mom especially since I think my father would always spend money. I think my mom was trying to save money, which means we couldn’t have things and that was always pretty hard to

During the winter, I always like to build snow forts. I used to always like to go out my boots. Riding a snowmobile, that kind of thing. As a kid when we’d have a day off, I’d sit in watch TV and mentored by videotapes.

My most memorable birthday was when we had a big party in the Dillsburg home I remember everyone was telling me that Sean wicker Ham was going to get me a Lionel train saying no I Lionel train set is in getting something that you you. You waved in the air and I just remember it was this crinkly plastic. I guess it was like a kite. That was what he got me it wasn’t a Lionel train I didn’t know what a Lionel train was, but certainly that wasn’t it. But that was my most memorable birthday. I think as a kid.

As a child. I didn’t even like to get dressed. I always had like the sweater. With a turtleneck in the pants. Obviously my mother dressed me I don’t think I really have my own style until I got out of high school where I did the open flannel. But the t shirt that was very 90s but my parents chose my clothes for me so I did have a childhood nemesis in Dillsburg his name was Brian Harner. I swear he beat me up a few times. He was just my enemy. There was no other way to put it however you want to do it.

Here’s also a girl named Angela Bennett. I swear to God she thought she knew everything that was in those for what was really nice is that in adulthood, so as 1819 frying Harner would feed me a Burger King. Like we became friends. Like after I moved away and then he worked at the Burger King near the mall that worked out we became really good friends.

And then Angela is amazing. She donated to my cat rescue. We have a lot of the same political opinions. We almost did breakfast. Schedules didn’t work out. But she’s been great. It’s amazing how your childhood enemies can become friends later in life and I think it’s important to be cognizant of that

You know, I was always alone. Like there wasn’t a place I went around in my home or neighborhood to be alone. I was always alone. In fact, you know, I would go and play in the yard and we alone are playing in the woods and be alone I go on a bike ride and be alone. And I would just be alone I would just sit I would look at things look at rocks look under rocks. In the yard all that kind of stuff

And I think yeah, if anything my biggest challenge was not being alone. Like I my neighbor, Kevin Wagner. I go to his house, a noose in the house. His mother Flora would say he wasn’t home and that was rejection because I knew he was there or go to different people’s houses and just want to hang out with people as a kid and none of them would want to hang out or they had cooler people to hang out with or whatever.

But I remember specifically Mrs. Wagner would always be like Kevin’s not home. Are you like Kevin’s home? I saw Kevin’s home I know Kevin’s home. Obviously he didn’t want to play with me. And living rural. There wasn’t really anybody to play with. So that just kind of sucked.

So yeah, the first time I intentionally lied. I don’t actually remember that. I’m not saying that out of pride. I’m just saying I really don’t remember the first time that I intentionally lied. I wish I could actually.

So write a letter to your childhood self giving life giving advice, guidance and perspective. That’s the last one in this unit of this book here. And again, we use the book mainly just to trigger storytelling and I think it’s good for that. book is the story of my life story new has to come out. story my life Picadilly sub Walmart buy.

So if I could go back and I think I recorded this before. If I could go back to my childhood Soph I’d say that there’s going to be a day in the future when I’m going to go and work with AIDS orphans. I’m going to travel the world and try and help other children like me. And I’m gonna go to Hollywood and I’m going to help run a film company.

And, you know, I would tell that kid that one day that he’s going to do all those things. He’s going to go make difference in orphans lives and it’s gonna go help Iran nonprofit film company, he’s going to help under resource kids. And he’s going to take in a girl that has nowhere else to go, and that girl is going to become his daughter, and he’s going to rescue cats.

I would say kids are gonna rescue cats, a lot of cats. What I would also tell them is, you know, the advice he’s going to get is that nothing matters after high school. You never see those people again, but that’s a lie because of Facebook. You do see those people again.

But I’m also going to tell them this to me a good thing because those people aren’t going to be bad people and then I can be bad to you. And if they are you just block them. You just block them. And most of them we’re gonna be Republicans because Pennsylvania is full of Republicans. So that’s what I would say to him. That would be my perspective.