AfterLoss II

So Kristy spring invited me Thanksgiving this year 2023. David just passed two months prior three months prior, I guess September 12. Tyler, their daughter that I used to pick up from school and I spent a lot of time when she wasn’t there. She was living, living with her family, her kids and her husband in Texas.

It was awkward. There is an object lesson to this whole thing and that is this. Christie had a new family, new husband, new husband’s friend’s new neighborhood. Christy tried to throw me a lifeline introduce me that kind of thing. And she tried and I talked a little bit, but it just wasn’t that connection, especially without Tyler It was awkward. I might play basically laughed.

Tyler told me later people have moved on. And that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. And I think I understand that from when my sister passed from addiction and my mother just she needed my mother needed to be able to let go and move on. And I think when you lose someone from addiction, that is an important step. Because the uncertainty is gone. You’re not wondering if they had a relapse, you’re not wondering where they are at that particular point. You do have a sense of relief.

I’m in a different place with all of it. Because my role with Dave was different I think I’m still working through it. But I don’t think it was quite fair to take them along for the ride either. Because they’re on their own journeys and they’re in their own places in this grieving journey wasn’t fair to take them along.

It wasn’t fair to ruin their Thanksgiving with memories that no none of them really want to rehash. I think it’s something I still have to work through but it’s not something they have to work through. They have a completely different journey.

I did appreciate being invited. But when I compare it to stepping a little bit into the past with Kenya and Kelly at Canada’s Spring Show, I’ve realized you know, there’s a time and a place to do it. And there’s a time and a place not to